Depression and Suicide
By: Pastor Don Dennison
Let me begin this blog with a couple of stories from my life. I grew up, living part of my childhood, under a bridge in the ghetto. I really had little to no support in my family unit. My “family” became a gang called the Blue Jackets, when I was about 9 years old. When I was 11 or 12 years old, I was already done with life, so one day I got on top of a ledge on a freeway bridge, getting ready to jump onto the freeway! I was so depressed, that I thought suicide was the only way out. I stood on the ledge of the bridge for a few minutes, trying to build up the nerve to jump. All of a sudden, a car drove by and I heard some guy yell out, “JUMP!” That shocked me into getting down from the ledge. At that same moment, an inner voice told me NOT to jump.
You must realize that in those days of 1958-59, there were no mental health resources (that I knew of) for poor welfare kids, like me. I was so young, that I really did not know where to turn to for help. Each time I was on the streets alone, the police would just take me to Juvenile Hall. They would often say that they would take me home, and I would tell them, “I have no home. My mother doesn’t care.” The only other option was to take me to Juvenile Hall. I remember liking it, because I knew I would get 3 square meals a day there! On the streets, (and even at home) I was often hungry.
My mother was a single woman on county assistance, with 5 other children at home. She really only liked to have me around, so I could babysit all of them while she went out. My father was not my siblings’ father, and he left when I was only 6 months old. I sought him out much later on, when I was 25. He was living in a different state, with a whole new family and several more children. I was the last thing on his mind, during all of my formative, growing up years.
Here is another story from my life, that added to my depression and attempted suicide. At 13 years old, I was still a member of the Blue Jackets Gang. We planned to have a rumble (gang war) on the streets one day. As the fight began, I was hit over the head with a bottle, that knocked me out cold. When I woke up, the police were staring down at me. When they turned around, I looked to my right, and saw someone covered with a white sheet. I had to look to see who was under the sheet. To my shock and horror, it was my best friend, and only friend! He was stabbed to death. I remember crying, and a deep depression set in again.
The Shadows of the Mind play, and now the video, has reminded me of some of that pain that I had to endure as a child. However, the difference between me and the main character of the play, is that she had loving parents, as well as a great support system of caring friends. That can make all the difference. My healing has come gradually as an adult, through loving personal relationships and through my faith in God. The video deals with many mental health issues, such as suicide, depression, childhood sexual abuse, anxiety, and grief. These unfortunate issues are prevalent in our world today, and Shadows of the Mind deals with them head on.
All of us need to talk with someone from time to time, as a support system. Please do not let depression or anxiety overwhelm your life…GET HELP!
Our video can help you to see a way out, to get healing through counseling or through joining a support group.
I am available, and happy to talk with you.
My e-mail is: don@hiddentreasureproductions.org
Play Synopsis
by Valerie
Herrera
Shadows of the
Mind is an original play by Kanaan Hesseling, that explores
the physical manifestation of the inner thoughts of a depressed, anxiety-ridden
teenager named Charlie. As Charlie strives to keep her head above water,
she hides the depths of her struggle in dealing with her friend, Kevin’s suicide.
Her support structure is undeniable, a mother and father who love
her but differ on how to help their daughter, a friend who exudes positivity
and unconditional love, and Kevin’s mother, a comforting partner in the grief
process. But as the shadows in her mind intensify, Charlie comes to a
crossroads. Will the outside influences in her life prevail or will the
shadows win?
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